How Divorced Fathers can enjoy a Happy Holiday Season

At the Men’s Divorce Law Firm, we understand going through a divorce or separation is a challenging and stressful time in anyone’s life, but it is particularly heart breaking when children are involved. The festive season can intensify feelings of stress, despair, hopelessness, loss, failure, and sadness. The holidays often emphasize how much your life after divorce has changed forever.

The Parenting Plan for the Holidays

The parenting plan often requires parents to alternate sharing the children on the major holidays, splitting the holidays evenly over the course of the year. Depending on what works best, holidays are alternated every year, or one parent can celebrate the same holiday each year. Some divorced parents choose to share the day so that each parent can have quality time with their children. This option may require some compromise with the transportation, planning, and coordinating between parents:

  • If one parent is not able to celebrate on the exact day, they may choose the next day or the following weekend to celebrate.
  • Custody agreements will determine what are the best options for all parties involved.  Be sure to follow all custody orders and keep the peace with your former spouse.
  • Instead of being sad over all the changes, show your children that change can be positive. Create new traditions for an enjoyable holiday that you can enjoy this year and for years to come.

Be Flexible and Realistic

Having an enjoyable holiday season is possible if you develop a plan that works for the entire family.  Give time and thought into what you would like to happen and set your holiday season plan up well in advance. Have a positive attitude, especially when you are with the children, and remember that the festive season is for sharing with family and friends. Adding a large pinch of gratitude will help you stay more positive, caring and willing to accept your life as it is post-divorce. In turn, your grateful and positive attitude will reflect in the children and others around you and make it likely that you will have a happy holiday season.

 

Develop a Budget

Keep to a budget and have realistic expectations of yourself and of your family. Try to avoid being over materialistic in your gift giving to garnish favor with the children. Perhaps endeavor to experience more heartfelt activities that you might enjoy doing together with your children. For many children in divorce, they can feel pressure to please both parents all at once, making the holidays a time of stress and guilt for them. Things can easily be hectic for the children in the co-parenting schedule. Try to remember that it is what is best for the children, not what is best for you. Children can also feel guilty asking for presents, the latest electronics, or going away on a vacation like many of their friends might do.  When money may be a concern, you don’t need to focus on what you cannot provide over the holidays. You can create those new memories and traditions together that may be more meaningful than the latest toy, or an expensive vacation. The children will most likely remember the special time you spent with them and how that made them feel happy and loved.

 

Florida Law

The Florida law is clear in that it is important for the children to have relationships with both parents. The courts require an explanation of which holidays and special occasions the child will spend with each parent. There are also rules for parent-child communication over the holidays. It is recommended that you set holiday time-sharing parameters to avoid confusion and conflict.

 

At the Men’s Divorce Law Firm, we can help construct a timesharing schedule and negotiate with your ex-spouse in the best interest of the children. The best solution to a time-sharing or custody dispute is to have a family law attorney represent you.

 

As a father, Attorney Jeffrey Feulner knows the importance of a child’s relationship with both of their parents. If you are a father that needs help with a time-sharing plan for the holidays, contact us at 321DIVORCE (3486723).

10 Helpful Tips for Men Going Through Divorce

At Men’s Divorce Law Firm, we know that getting a divorce is an emotional period in your life, especially if children are involved. The divorce process can be extremely difficult, and you may feel completely lost dealing with the dissolution of your marriage and the ensuing custody battle.

The cost of divorce can sometimes be financially crippling and emotionally devastating. Without an experienced attorney, you may find yourself on the wrong side of a bad custody arrangement and paying child support payments that you can hardly afford. Sound legal representation can help to ensure a positive outcome and allow the divorce process to go smoothly for both parties. Here are some tips to help get you through the divorce process with fewer battle scars and less emotional distress:

  1. Try Not to Argue: Try not to engage in an argument with your spouse, take note of what your spouse is saying and try not to react in anger.
  2. Watch Your Words Carefully: Be careful and thoughtful in your words and responses to your spouse. This will give your spouse less ammunition to use against you later.
  3. Keep records: Keep records of all the divorce proceedings. Record any threats or harassment from your spouse and make sure to record the date and times.
  4. Be Money Savvy: Keep records of your spending and try to remain within your allotted budget for the divorce.
  5. Don’t Retaliate: Do not engage in any form of physical, emotional, or sexual retaliation. This is important for you to come out of the divorce with your reputation and finances intact.
  6. Stay in Touch with Your kids: Keep an open communication with your children, if permitted. Stay connected, go to their games, recitals, and performances, and give them the love and praise they deserve.
  7. Don’t Smack Talk Your Ex: Do not talk negatively about your spouse to the children. Have positive interactions with them and do not force them to take sides. This is important to keeping the bond alive with your children.
  8. Take Care of Your Health: Stay healthy and don’t neglect your mental and physical well-being. Eat Right and Exercise.
  9. Seek a Therapist: You may feel depressed and isolated during this time. See a counselor to help discuss your feelings and anxiety. A therapist can help keep the doors of communication open and address feelings of helplessness and despair.
  10. Hire an Experienced Attorney: Find competent and sympathetic legal counsel. Look for an attorney who has a good reputation in working with fathers. Be honest and open with your attorney.

Attorney Jeff Feulner is dedicated to being Central Florida’s divorce lawyer for men. Our firm aggressively represents husbands and fathers in family law matters such as child support, timesharing, paternity, and divorce.  Contact 321divorce (3486723) to speak to attorney Feulner about your divorce case.

Family Law Tips

If you’ve never been through the family law process before, it can be extremely scary, especially when armed only with limited knowledge from stories told by friends and from the culture. Every state has a different set of laws, and every judge has a different concept on how best to address separating family units. Here are a few bits of information about family law in Florida that may surprise you and bring you some relief.

ADULTERY ONLY MATTERS WHEN MARITAL ASSETS ARE SPENT ON THE RELATIONSHIP

In Florida, evidence and testimony towards the extra-marital relationships of a spouse are only relevant when that spouse spends significant money on that relationship. In that event, the court may consider those assets to be part of the equitable distribution of the property that has already been claimed, and will award the other spouse additional funds or assets to compensate. But the bare fact of cheating on a spouse is irrelevant. It doesn’t even factor into the grounds for a divorce.

FLORIDA REQUIRES MINIMAL EVIDENCE OF GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE

Almost every divorce has the same small bit of critical evidence: one party testifies that “the marriage is irretrievably broken”. That’s all it takes to get a divorce in Florida. Adultery, abuse – none of that is necessary to end a marriage. Just that one bare statement, under oath, from one spouse. However, the court has the power to order the parties to counseling, and the State requires a 4 hour class for any parents involved in a divorce action.

THE MOTHER OF THE CHILDREN DOES NOT ALWAYS GET ALL THE TIME WITH THEM

When children are involved in a family law action, the most important part of the case is the Parenting Plan. In the vast majority of cases, the parties attend mediation, and through the guiding actions of the mediator and counsel, when involved in the case, the parties reach an agreement. However, if the matter must be ruled on by a judge, that judge looks at over 20 different factors to determine which parent has the better situation for the children, and how time should be divided between them.

PAYMENT OF CHILD SUPPORT AND SPENDING TIME WITH YOUR KIDS ARE NOT DEPENDENT ON ONE ANOTHER

The Florida Statutes expressly provide that if a party falls behind on child support, it does not interfere with the time sharing the delinquent parent enjoys with the children. Additionally, child support is only due when a judge or the Department of Revenue orders the payment of child support, so in the absence of such an order, one parent should not withhold the child from the parent they think should pay them. That said, child support obligations can be imposed for up to two years from the filing of an action for support, all the way back to when the parties stop living together as a family.

 

Jake Walter Hannaway, Esquire, is a graduate of the University of Florida Levin College of Law, and has been a member of the Florida Bar since 2009. The primary focus of his practice has been helping parents obtain the best result for them and their kids in custody disputes. He has worked with people across the gender and sexuality spectrums. His practice, Hannaway Law, P.A., has offices in Clearwater and Tampa.

Online Relationship Programs

The cost of relationship therapy can sometimes be a wall to relationship recovery. Some online tools can either be to intimidating or to complicated to explore. After evaluating many online programs,

I found CouplesWise the most coule and cost friendly resource.

CoupleWise boasts a list of the most impressive professional counselors, therapists, and couples researchers as its advisors. As we grow that become even more integral to our development as a premium-quality service.

Go to Happy Relationship Help.com for more information

 

Therapy and repair work after a betrayal, is the only way to heal and repair. Some online tools can either be too intimidating or to complicated to explore. Going to traditional therapy can also feel shameful.

After evaluating many online programs, I found After the Affair to me the most trauma sensitive and cost friendly online resource.

Please do not let fear or anger destroy your partnership. Get Help Now!

Go to Affair Repair.Info Now!

To Russia with Love



There are various ways to conduct ourselves when a marriage breaks down and whilst I did not recommend Stepford two weeks ago, I remain a firm believer in alternative remedies where appropriate. Another that I do not recommend however was highlighted in the media today and should be a dire warning for any man contemplating a move to Russia with his loved one.

In the case reported, the couple, who had divorced 3 years before, had been forced to continue to live together in a small flat resulting in increasing acrimony between them. Presumably in desperation, the former wife took matters into her own hands when her ex-husband gave her an easy opportunity to inflame the situation still further. So whilst he was naked on the sofa, drinking vodka and watching TV, she leaned over and set his penis alight! I have a hunch, although the report was silent on the point, that the vodka may have helped. Needless to say the husband is quoted as telling reporters that “It was monstrously painful, I was burning like a torch.”

Now before anyone reading this gets ideas, can I just stress that here in the UK whilst you can still end up in the unhappy situation of living in the same home after a divorce has been finalised, a court does reserve the power to decide the outcome of a home’s ownership and even in the case of a rented property which of the couple can continue living there. This will take a little time but pending a decision and in the event of abuse or violence (a description that would undoubtedly encompass this woman’s actions), the court can also make an injunctive order excluding the perpetrator from the home.

Originally posted on 23 August 2007

Harry Potter and the Last Goodbye



Like thousands of other holidaymakers this year I took the latest edition of Harry Potter on holiday with me, knowing it was going to be the last holiday we would ever spend together. My relationship with Harry goes back to 1997 and whilst Apprentice Man claims to have long since outgrown stories of witchcraft and wizardry, his mother has not.

On the one hand, therefore, whilst I was excited by the prospect of the final instalment and a last opportunity to satiate myself with Muggles, Dementors and House Elves, I opened the book with a certain trepidation. Half a dozen pages in, I was engrossed, but then two dilemmas arose; firstly amidst all the rumours of characters being killed off would Harry actually survive to the end of the story and secondly did I want to read it quickly or would I prefer a lingering goodbye? Pedantically I noted that at 607 pages and an average reading speed of say 60 seconds per page the whole book was going to take me some 10 hours to complete. I therefore had a choice; I could limit the indulgence to say 45 minutes a day or jump in and get through it as quickly as possible.

The difficulty was that if Harry succumbed to Voldemort in the first half, then our time together and my enjoyment of the whole experience was going to be cut short very quickly, especially if I decided to do nothing else but sit on my sun-lounger and read from morning to night. Indeed an early exit for the hero could spoil the overall ambience of my long awaited summer holiday. I, therefore, succumbed to temptation and did what nobody should ever do with a good book, but I inevitably do; I read the last 5 pages.

If real life were the same and with the benefit of crystal ball gazing, how much different our lives might be. However and even then it wouldn’t solve all issues because I still had to determine whether or not to spend only the beginning of my vacation with Harry Potter or the whole of it. Crystal ball gazing might reveal the outcome but not necessarily the method of getting there.

Frankly I can’t see the point in long goodbyes; they only delay the inevitable. Ten years is a long time for any hero to keep you dangling with his tales of bravado and I decided that if it was all coming to an end then it might as well do so promptly. It took a day and a half to complete matters and that was it, for all time. Of course, there was a tinge of regret that there won’t be any more novels, and I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I occasionally looked over my shoulder for a passing Horcrux or Death-Eater. Overall though, I got on with my holiday, indulged in some other pursuits for a few days and finally came back to my bed by the pool to read more books!


Originally posted on 7th August 2007




Staying Together for the Sake of the Children


Teenage boys – who’d have them by choice? I should know by now: arguing with an adolescent only ever leads to raised voices and do you ever win when he always has to have the last word?

Come to think of it, why, in this nanny state of ours, don’t babies come with a health warning stuck to their foreheads? “CAUTION this little bundle of joy will turn into a belligerent teenager!”

It always amazes me, and I suppose demonstrates the full extent of parental love, that I have so many clients who want to argue over their children. Indeed I can’t recall a case where both parties have sought to reject the kids. If Outdoor Man and I ever went down the road to separation however, I speculate that Apprentice Man might just find himself in that novel position.

“Staying together for the sake of the children,” is an oft quoted phrase. Properly interpreted, does it actually mean: staying together for the sake of the parents? Neither parent should be expected to take on the sole day to day care of their children; it’s unfair – they’re extremely hard work.



Staying Together for the Sake of the Children


Teenage boys – who’d have them by choice? I should know by now: arguing with an adolescent only ever leads to raised voices and do you ever win when he always has to have the last word?

Come to think of it, why, in this nanny state of ours, don’t babies come with a health warning stuck to their foreheads? “CAUTION this little bundle of joy will turn into a belligerent teenager!”

It always amazes me, and I suppose demonstrates the full extent of parental love, that I have so many clients who want to argue over their children. Indeed I can’t recall a case where both parties have sought to reject the kids. If Outdoor Man and I ever went down the road to separation however, I speculate that Apprentice Man might just find himself in that novel position.

“Staying together for the sake of the children,” is an oft quoted phrase. Properly interpreted, does it actually mean: staying together for the sake of the parents? Neither parent should be expected to take on the sole day to day care of their children; it’s unfair – they’re extremely hard work.



The Most Surprising Celebrity Divorces of 2017

In Hollywood, it seems that a new couple is announcing divorce almost daily. Though we’ve become accustomed to the drama of Hollywood romance, even Jeffrey Feulner, Orlando divorce lawyer, was surprised by some of these cases. Learn about some of the most unexpected splits of 2017.

1. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt

This stalwart couple of Hollywood, referred to as “Brangelina” by fans and the media, shocked the world when they announced late last year that the marriage was ending because of serious parental differences. The pair have three biological children, while Jolie adopted three other children.

Pitt got dragged through the press; Jeffrey Feulner, a men’s divorce lawyer, is proactive when dealing with divorces involving known participants.

2. Anna Faris and Chris Pratt

After eight years of marriage and one son, Jack, the couple announced via Facebook that they had decided to divorce. They met on the “Take Me Home Tonight” set in 2007, and many viewed them one of Hollywood’s most down-to-earth couples.

3. Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor

This couple, who got together in 2000, announced in May the marriage was ending. They have two children, Ella (15) and Quinlen (12), whom they will jointly raise.

4. Carmelo and La La Anthony

In early April of this year, La La moved out of the couple’s home and moved into her own place in New York City. They started dating in 2004, married in 2010, and had one child.

5. Casey Affleck and Summer Phoenix

This pair married in 2006 and brought two boys into the world, Indiana and Atticus. Summer filed divorce papers in July.

6. David Schwimmer and Zoe Buckman

The former Friends star and the British artist and photographer married in 2010 and gave birth to one child together. In April, the couple announced their separation.

7. Fergie and Josh Duhamel

After meeting in 2004, this couple spent the next 13 years together, including getting married in 2009. They had one son, Axl, who is now four years old.

8. Janet Jackson and Wissam Al Mana

This pair secretly married in 2012, and she gave birth to a child in January of 2017. They agreed to separate, but not divorce, in April.

Though many of these cases were amicable, advice from Jeffrey Feulner, domestic violence and divorce attorney, can ease the burden of any dissolution.

The Most Surprising Celebrity Divorces of 2017

In Hollywood, it seems that a new couple is announcing divorce almost daily. Though we’ve become accustomed to the drama of Hollywood romance, even Jeffrey Feulner, Orlando divorce lawyer, was surprised by some of these cases. Learn about some of the most unexpected splits of 2017. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt This stalwart couple of...

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