I gave SnuggleBuddies to my grandsons while they were visiting for Christmas to help them learn about feelings, but what happened next surprised me.  

You see, that Christmas morning, we had a situation, one that caused my dog to get very, very sick. My dog had gotten into some chocolate candy. 

My grandson tried to comfort our dog with the things that comfort them. Hank the elf, their SnuggleBuddies Red Bear and Orange Fox, blankets, and a balloon.

When I found out that my husband had left the chocolates out where the dog got into them, I was furious.

Having to deal with a sick puppy is bad enough, but to make matters worse, I have a rare neuromuscular condition (Myasthenia Gravis) that greatly affects my activity and breathing, and extra activity lands me in bed and on my noninvasive ventilator.

I knew from past experience that a dog eating chocolate results in a very ill pooch with lots of cleaning up and a special diet.

I wanted to enjoy our visit with the kids and the holidays…but I was angry.

I knew my husband did not intend for this to happen, and I did not want to be in a bad mood for the evening while my family was visiting. But I was! 

That was when my daughter suggested the boys ask NayNay (me) if she wanted to “do her feelings”.

They were excited about that and ran to get their SnuggleBuddies to share with me.

Everyone listened and supported me as I went through my feelings.

I began to feel better, and it dawned on me that I was actually setting an example for my grandsons.

I also realized that had my grandsons and their SnuggleBuddies not been there, I wouldn’t have talked about or worked through my angry feelings that quickly.

I just love those things; they are so cuddly! I ordered myself a Red Bear. And don’t tell, but Red Bear has already helped my husband with some of his feelings too.

As a grandma, I love Generation Mindful. It makes me feel like I can really add to my grandson’s lives in a lasting way. They live 15 hours away, so I don’t see them in person often.  But it is so important to me that they know I SEE THEM!!!

Sometimes my grandsons call/facetime me to tell me their sad or mad feelings…and I think, I can do this! I can be there for them.

Despite any amount of distance or disability, I can listen.

 

We get so caught up in the pattern of ‘business as usual’ that the romantic connection we once had with our partner starts to get lost.

So, how do we reconnect, and what are the best ways to keep a long-term relationship interesting?

Here are 7 ways you and your partner can strengthen your relationship.

1. Make time for each other

This might seem like an obvious thing to do, but when you’re both so busy it’s an easy one to forget.

Plan some time each week, for just the two of you, and use it to get to know each other better. Whether you end up talking about a good book you’ve just read, or a problem you’re having at work, just by setting aside some time free of distractions like your cellphone, you’ll both feel more connected.

2. Small gestures add up

Don’t forget the little things in your relationship. It doesn’t need to be a big occasion, like an anniversary or Valentine’s Day, to make a romantic gesture.

Doing things like texting your partner while they’re at work just to say you’re thinking of them, or making your partner a cup of coffee in the morning, are small loving gestures that build up over time and don’t require a whole heap of planning.

Plus, those off-the-cuff moments will take you back to the flirtatious days when you first met.

3. Change your routine

While those small, everyday gestures are an easy way to show your partner you love them, changing up your routine can be another way to reconnect.

You could go for a spontaneous meal out, surprise your partner with a nice bottle of wine as a treat, or book tickets to a concert. Doing something a bit different helps to shake up the norm and could be fun to see where an unexpected evening takes you.

4. Learn a new skill together

Learning a new skill can be a great way to boost your confidence later in life. And doing it with your partner will not only make your new hobby easier to stick to; it could help your romantic bond grow stronger.

Whether it’s dance classes, or committing to jogging a 5k, set yourselves a mutual goal that you can support one another towards.

5. Show physical affection

In a long-term relationship, it’s common to feel distant, both emotionally and physically.

One way to overcome this is to make a conscious effort to show each other more affection. If you get in the habit of kissing each other goodbye, or greeting your partner with a hug, that intimacy will help to strengthen your emotional bond.

6. Look after yourself

While making time for each other is important, scheduling in some ‘me’ time is essential to having a healthy long-term relationship. If you don’t feel fulfilled in yourself, it’s more likely you’ll resent your partner’s company and you can’t bring the best version of yourself to the relationship.

Spend some time exploring your own interests, doing things with friends, or working on your health and fitness. Then, you’ll feel more relaxed and ready to spend quality time with your partner.

7. Communicate

Don’t let issues fester. The sooner you address disagreements or feelings of discontent, the sooner you give your partner an opportunity to address those problems.

And, if you find trying to communicate causes arguments, use the rule of three sentences. This works really well when you want to ask your partner to do something, without nagging.

For example, saying, ‘Please can you do the dishes tonight, I’m feeling pretty tired. It would help a lot’ gets your point across, without causing argument.

While every couple is different, it’s more common than you might think for people to drift apart in a long-term relationship. But these are just 7 small ways we think you can help

Sign up to our email newsletter to get more friendly advice, straight to your inbox.

As your relationship with your partner grows, you may want to add spice and sensuality: something extra special. Sensuality increases your confidence, helping you feel more comfortable in your own skin, as well as increasing your pleasure by engaging all of your senses. Do you want to bring an extra dose of sensuality to your bedroom? Here are a few of our favorite tips:

1. Invest in bedroom decor that helps enhance all your senses.

When you’ve been with your partner for a long time, your bedroom decor may become practical and functional, rather than sensual. While your decor doesn’t have to be made up solely of red satin sheets and dim lighting, a little effort in your bedroom decor can make a big difference in the sensuality you experience. Try some of these strategies.

Choose great sheets that help you feel sexy. The type of sheets you want may vary depending on your style: for example, if you love that silky, sexy feeling, sateen sheets can help you slide into bed with a smile on your face. A high thread count and crisp sheets can also have you feeling extra sexy. Choose a set of sheets that you’re comfortable sleeping on every night or have a special set of sheets set aside just for those nights when you’re hoping for a little extra something special.

Invest in soft, diffuse lighting. Sure, sometimes, you just need the overhead lighting in your bedroom, but that’s not the only light you need. Choose a lamp or other soft light source that will make you feel more confident and sexy.

Add great scents to your bedroom. Everyone has a scent that makes them feel sexier. If you’re not comfortable using candles in the bedroom or don’t want to have to worry about getting up to blow out the candles, consider using a diffuser or pillow spray to capture that perfect scent. Try:

• Vanilla, a sexy and erotic fragrance that can help get you in the mood
• Ylang ylang, which acts as a potent aphrodisiac
• Jasmine, which is associated with heightened sensuality
• Peppermint, which can raise energy levels and increase blood flow

Turn on white noise or soft music. Depending on your distraction level, you may not want music playing while you’re in the middle of sex with your partner. White noise, however, can help drown out other sounds from the house, whether it’s a movie playing in the living room or a child padding down the hallway to the bathroom for the third time that night.

Use temperature control devices in the bedroom. You don’t have to drive up the temperature in the entire house to warm things up a little in the bedroom in winter or cool them down in summer. Invest in portable units that you can use just in your bedroom to ensure that you can easily create the ideal temperature.

2. Get to know what you like.

If you want to feel sexier and enhance sensuality, take the time to get to know what you really like. Your body is unique. You might not like exactly what someone else likes. You may have specific positions and spots that bring you more pleasure or certain types of stimulation that you really love.

Spend some solo time in the bedroom–a vibrator like Crescendo can help–or experiment with your partner to get a better idea of what really turns you on. As you become more comfortable with your own body, you’ll naturally feel more sensual, which will translate into sexy time with your partner.

Keep in mind, too, that what you like may change as you age and grow. Your hormones will shift, your desires will change, and what you find mind-blowing in your twenties may not be the same thing that brings you pleasure in your thirties or forties. Set aside time to get to know your body and experiment with what you like. You may just learn a few things about yourself that will translate into a higher level of sensuality.

While you’re experimenting with yourself, make time to experiment with your partner, too. One of the most sensual things you can do is genuinely enjoy getting to know your partner’s body and learning what brings them pleasure. When you’re in bed together, don’t just automatically go with your old standbys. Instead, take the time to experiment and explore. Run your hands all over your partner’s body, paying special attention to their most sensitive spots. You’ll quickly discover new things about your partner and what they like that you can incorporate moving forward.

3. Get excited about trying something new.

Every sex experience with your partner doesn’t have to be mind-blowing and exciting. When you’ve been with your partner for a long time, you learn that there is often immense intimacy in those quieter, seemingly mundane sex sessions. Sometimes, however, adding a little sensuality starts with trying something new.

First, sit down with your partner and discuss ideas. Sit close to one another and touch each other as you chat. You’ll naturally ramp up the heat in the room and start getting excited about the things that you’re eager to try in the bedroom. Consider some of these ideas:

• Bring a new toy into the bedroom. Crescendo or Tenuto could be the perfect place to start! Be sure to check out everything you can do with that toy ahead of time so that you’re prepared to use it to its full advantage. Talk about what you’re looking forward to most or what you’d most like to try together.
• Experiment with a new position–or positions. Choose several sessions to experiment with something new, and commit to trying it. If it doesn’t work, you can always revert back to your tried and true favorites! We have a great playbook that can help you get started.
• Commit to a few sessions that aren’t about vaginal sex. There are an amazing number of things you can do to bring your partner pleasure without ever actually having sex together, but they often get only a little time during foreplay. Manually stimulate your partner, try oral sex, or use a vibrator, like Crescendo or Tenuto, to add extra stimulation. You’ll still get the amazing intimacy of a sexual experience together, but you’ll also get to spend more time lingering over your partner and discovering what they really like.

4. Go on a lingerie shopping spree.

Lingerie shopping is hard, especially as an increasing number of stores move the majority of their stock online. Not only that, many women–and men, for that matter–have no idea what makes them look their sexy best.

Go on a lingerie shopping spree. Let your partner pick out something they would love to see on you. If you order online and it’s not what you were hoping for in person, that’s okay! The two of you can enjoy some great laughs together and try again next time. If you can get into a physical lingerie shop and try a few things on, let your partner pick out at least half a dozen things for you to try on. Can’t model directly? Consider snapping a few pictures with your phone and sending them to your partner to get their opinion. Choose one or two special outfits and bring them into the bedroom to help ramp up the sensuality and have you both feeling (and looking) your best.

Remember, the woman in your partnership isn’t the only one who can dress up in something special. Investing in something extra sexy for him–underwear that hugs his package or fully display his assets, for example–could be a great way to help you get in the mood.

5. Don’t go straight to the genitals.

Want to ramp up the sensuality in your bedroom? Turn out the lights, close the door, and take it slow. Explore your partner’s entire body. You may find new erogenous zones–and you’ll definitely heighten anticipation and have your partner more excited than ever. Try some of these strategies:

Give your partner a full-body massage. Start with the shoulders and work your way down. As tempting as it is to get caught on by your partner’s assets along the way, make sure that you don’t get stuck there! Brush lightly over the genital areas and move on, building tension and increasing pleasure along the way.

Massage your partner’s feet and legs. After a long day, this is a great way to relax, and is often surprisingly intimate.

Kiss your way over your partner’s entire body. Focus on the areas that you find sexiest. Do you love the curve of her collarbone? That little dip in his shoulder when he’s been working out hard? Give yourself permission to explore, caress, and taste.

Adding sensuality to the bedroom is a process–and much of that process takes place long before you actually enter the bedroom together. With the right tools, however, you can discover enhanced sensuality in the bedroom and a deep connection to one another, not to mention with yourself. Contact us today to learn more about how Crescendo and Tenuto can help enhance your sensuality.

What’s your parenting style? It’s a common question, especially in online parenting quizzes or magazines. Parenting styles — not to be confused with parenting practices — are part of your child’s environment. And it’s a part that plays a big role in shaping who she becomes. 

Learning about different parenting styles isn’t just a new trend with cute labels. Researchers and developmental psychologists have found parenting styles affect a child’s home environment, but that’s just the start. They also influence her personality, physical health, emotional and mental health, and success throughout childhood. 

Not sure which style of parenting you follow? Read on to learn about the four parenting styles and how they affect a child’s life.

What Are Parenting Styles?

Parenting styles are psychological theories or ideologies behind the strategies parents employ while raising children. Parenting styles are not the strategies themselves. A parenting style is a combination of several elements including:

• A parent’s actions towards the child
• A parent’s attitude towards the child, e.g., warmth or affection
• How much a parent demands of a child
• How much a parent responds to a child
• Methods for discipline, e.g., time-ins versus time-outs
• Communication style, e.g., yelling or talking
• Maturity of the parent
• Self-control levels of the parent

A parenting style is more than just a label — it drives the child’s environment. Each parenting style has a unique impact on the child’s health, self-esteem, emotional intelligence, social development, and mental well-being. 

How It All Started: Origins of Parenting Styles

In the 1960s, psychologist Diana Baumrind studied family socialization, particularly the various methods to raise children and how it affects children’s behavior. Baumrind observed preschoolers and discovered three types of parents:

• Authoritative
• Authoritarian
• Permissive

To expand on Baumrind’s findings, researchers later added a fourth parenting style: uninvolved. 

Authoritative Parenting

Let’s first take a peek at what authoritative means. Although this word is sometimes used to mean dictatorial (or even bossy!), authoritative can also mean complete or based on accurate information. In authoritative parenting, a parent’s authority relies on concrete information — never the “because I said so” argument. 

An authoritative parent establishes firm yet clear rules and expects a child to follow these rules but not without question. An authoritative parent explains why the rules are in place and provides the support and guidance needed to follow the household rules.

If a child fails to follow a rule — which can happen more than we like! — an authoritative parent doesn’t jump to quick punishments. Instead, an authoritative parent teaches the child the right behaviors and supports him in making new, better decisions. A child experience consequences rather than punishments. In this way, children learn how and why the rules are important. 

To a child in an authoritative home, rules have meanings. They aren’t just arbitrary ultimatums. Rules help foster emotional self-control and independence.

Attachment parenting is a popular parenting philosophy, and many of the tools in attachment parent (such as babywearing) mesh well with an authoritative parenting style due to the emphasis placed on high responsiveness. 

An authoritative parent:

• Is both demanding and responsive
• Responds positively to children
• Is warm 
• Is assertive but not pushy
• Offers feedback and constructive criticism 
• Offers forgiveness for mistakes
• Prefers positive discipline over punishment 
• Uses reward systems as well as praise

If the above statements reflect your parenting style, you may be an authoritative parent.

How Authoritative Parenting Impacts Children

Although the authoritative style focuses on rules, authoritative parenting does have a positive effect on child development. Children who grow up in authoritative households are generally cooperative (in home and school) and responsible. They also demonstrate strong emotional regulation and good decision-making skills. 

This is because authoritative parents provide clear expectations and lead with confidence yet still attend to the emotional needs of the child.

Authoritative parenting also contributes to the overall physical well-being of a child. A 2015 study published in the Pediatric Dentistry journal found children of authoritative parents had the fewest dental cavities when compared to children parented under other styles. This could be attributed to the authoritative tendency to create rules while explaining their importance — like how brushing teeth before bed prevents cavities.

Authoritarian Parenting 

Not to be confused with authoritative parenting, the authoritarian parenting style is characterized by strict rules with harsh demands for compliance. Unlike authoritative parenting, authoritarians prioritize obedience above all else. Parents who use authoritarian parenting expect compliance without question. You might hear “because I said so” a lot in an authoritarian household.

An authoritarian parent:

• Expects compliance without attention to a child’s emotional needs
• Is demanding but not responsive
• Is cold
• Focuses on punishment over positive instruction
• Has high expectations with little warmth

If a child in an authoritarian house fails to follow a rule, punishment is the response. Punishments, unlike positive discipline, lead to a child feeling bad without the proper tools to learn from past mistakes.

How Authoritarian Parenting Affects Children

Children who live in authoritative and authoritarian households both learn to follow the rules. The difference is that children in the authoritarian households tend to lack the emotional stability of children reared through authoritative practices.

Researchers find children living under extreme parental control are more likely to develop low self-esteem as well as behavior problems. Low self-esteem can contribute to aggression and general feelings of anger and discontent. 

In the most extreme cases, children of authoritarian parents develop good lying skills to avoid strict punishments. Researchers from a 2012 University of New Hampshire study also found children raised in authoritarian houses are more likely to become delinquents with generally mistrusting personalities.

Permissive Parenting

While authoritative parenting focuses on high demand and high responsiveness, permissive parenting is characterized by high responsiveness with low demands. Although permissive parents are loving, they don’t set many rules, and if any rules are broken, there are few (if any) consequences. 

Permissive parenting communication often seems more friend-to-friend rather than parent-to-child. For example, a permissive parent may ask about grades or schoolwork but offer no consequences for poor grades. Poor behavior is justified by a “kids will be kids” attitude. 

A permissive parent:

• Creates household rules but rarely enforces them
• Doesn’t focus on consequences or punishments
• Shies away from heavy interaction 
• Is warm, loving, and responsive but not demanding
• Acts like a friend rather than a parent 

If the above statements resonate, you may have permissive tendencies. 

How Permissive Parenting Affects Children

Because of a lenient parenting style, children who grow up in permissive households tend to struggle with authority — simply because indulgent parents don’t model the value of rules or the importance of self-control.

Children of permissive parents are likely to struggle with grades, according to researchers. Emotionally, these children may be at a higher risk for feelings of sadness. 

Permissive parenting also affects the health of a child. One study explored the link between permissive parenting and obesity. Children with permissive parents were more likely to consume low-nutrient-dense foods as well as struggle with obesity. There is also a direct correlation between lack of rules about oral health — such as brushing teeth before bed — and increased risk of dental decay. 

In the most extreme cases of permissive parenting, a child may develop egocentric tendencies and impulsive behaviors, according to a study published in Psychology of Addictive Behaviors.

Uninvolved Parenting

The fourth style of parenting, later added to address parents who didn’t fall into any of the initial three styles, is uninvolved.. Uninvolved parents, sometimes referred to as neglectful parents, don’t provide for children’s emotional needs. In extreme cases, an uninvolved parent may even fail to provide the basic needs of food, shelter, clothing, and education.

An uninvolved parent:

• Is neither demanding nor responsive 
• Declines communication, e.g., failing to ask questions about school or friendships 
• Does not make rules
• Does not provide instruction or punishment 
• Is indifferent, neither warm nor cold

How Uninvolved Parenting Affects Children

Without any rules, support, or communication, children of uninvolved parents lack proper direction in life. This increases a child’s risk of illicit behavior, missed school days, and poor behavior. These children struggle to regulate their emotions and can be at a high risk for suicidal thoughts or tendencies. 

Impact of Different Parenting Styles

You’ve probably heard the phrase that children are like little sponges who soak up the world around them. Just like they learn to brush their hair by watching you brush your hair, they’re learning to simply be by watching you, too. As children are exposed to certain parenting styles, their personalities develop in response. 

For example, if you adopt an authoritative parenting style, your children are more likely to demonstrate kindness towards others, according to a 2006 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. With kindness comes other positive personality traits like empathy and conscientiousness.

Dr. Thomas G. Power, a researcher studying the link between childhood obesity and parenting styles, determined that children fell under one of the following four categories:

• Assertive and self-controlled (authoritative)
• Discontented, distrustful, or even withdrawn (authoritarian)
• Little to no self-control (permissive)
• Desire to retreat from warmth and love (uninvolved)

If you notice any signs of discontentment or lack of self-control in your own children, it’s not too late to adapt your parenting style and use healthier parenting strategies.

The first step is to mindfully reflect on your parenting styles, your responsiveness, what you demand of your child, and how you interact with your child. Replacing any punitive parenting strategies with positive discipline and loving instruction can make your home more peaceful and have a lifelong effect on your child.

Which Parenting Style Is Most Effective?

When it comes to parenting styles, the term effective can be subjective, but this is a question many parents want answered. Learning which style is more effective is a good way to perform a quick analysis of your own style — to make sure you’re on track.

The tricky part is both authoritative and authoritarian styles have success with kids following rules. The difference is the effect each style has on a child.

A truly effective parenting style is one that helps a parent raise a well-adjusted, confident, happy child who has high emotional intelligence. To do so, an effective parenting style must:

• Prioritize clear expectations of the child
• Prioritize high demands of the parent coupled with a high responsiveness rate
• Pave the way for open and loving communication
• Place priority on positive discipline rather than punishment

Which Parenting Style Do You Follow?

Most parents find they don’t fit solidly into just one category. For instance, you may employ authoritative practices for the most part but struggle with leniency (a sign of permissive parenting) when children start to beg. 

To find out which parenting style you follow, it’s important to evaluate your demandingness and your responsiveness. 

Comparing Your Demands With Your Responsiveness

If you find yourself with high demands but are warm and responsive, you may follow an authoritative parenting style. If you find yourself with high demands but are colder and less responsive, you may employ authoritarian parenting strategies.

On the other hand, if you have low demands but are still warm, nurturing, and responsive, you may be a permissive parent. If a parent has low demands but is indifferent and completely unresponsive, this parent may be uninvolved. 

Where to Go From Here

Because the different types of parenting styles have a direct effect on a child’s emotional and physical well-being, it’s important to evaluate your own parenting style. For example, do you struggle to stick with the pre established consequences when your child begs? It’s not too late to give your parenting style a makeover if needed. 

Armed with knowledge and motivation, you can learn to incorporate a more positive parenting style by emphasizing your authority while still tending to your children’s needs. With dedication, you’ll find that you and your children have stronger bonds while their behavior improves.

—————-

Generation Mindful creates tools, toys, and programs that nurture emotional intelligence through play and positive discipline. Join us and receive joy in your inbox each week.

Talking dirty is a great way to ramp things up in the bedroom or start a little foreplay long before you’re ready to retire to the bedroom. Many people, however, find talking dirty downright awkward. They know what they want to say, but when it comes out of their mouth, it feels uncomfortable — and that uncomfortable feeling can quickly ruin the mood.

The good news is, you’re not alone. Many people struggle with talking dirty, so you’re certainly not the first to wonder where to start! The better news is, we’re here to help. With this simple guide, you can learn more about heating things up inside the bedroom — and on your way there.

Step One: Get Comfortable Talking About Sex

One of the biggest mistakes many people make in their relationships is that they simply aren’t comfortable talking about sex with their partners. Doing it isn’t necessarily a problem. Talking about it, however, brings on stammers and stutters.

Get comfortable talking about sex with your partner. Develop your own code, if you like, especially if you have children still in your home and you don’t want them to overhear (or understand what they’re overhearing). Ask your partner what they like and what they don’t like. Discuss new things the two of you might like to try, from adding a vibrator like Crescendo or Tenuto to your bedroom play to trying out a new personal lubricant. As you talk more about sex, you’ll find that it gets easier to talk dirty. Sure, those discussions may start out clinical, but there’s nothing clinical about the relationship between you and your partner, as you’ll quickly discover when you open the door to more of those intimate chats.

Step Two: Learn Your Partner’s Fantasies

Most people indulge in a fantasy every once in a while, especially when they masturbate. What is your partner daydreaming about — and how can your dirty talk play into that? You may find that your partner has a few specific things that he’d love to hear you say, or that she would get incredibly turned on hearing you talk through a specific scenario. Learning what your partner wants is a great place to get started, and can increase your confidence so that the next time you’re ready to talk dirty, you’re more comfortable with it.

Step Three: Start with the Simple

When you head into the bedroom with your partner, especially when you’re just getting ramped up, keep it simple: talk about what you want. What is it that you genuinely can’t wait for your partner to do to you in that moment? The imagination can be a powerful tool in the bedroom, especially for women, who often struggle to get in the mood when their heads aren’t in the right place. As arousal increases, you may start imagining exactly what you want your partner to do next.

You can’t wait for him to go down on you. You’d love to feel her tongue slipping across your head. His hands would feel amazing on your breasts. Are you hoping to try out something new during this particular session — or perhaps during the immediate future? Tell your partner exactly what you’re daydreaming about. Be as explicit as you like. After all, this is the person you want to share those passionate moments with! If you want, for example, to introduce Crescendo into your play, talk about how you’d love to have a specific area stimulated while your partner performs another action — or how you’d love to use it to stimulate your partner while they do something else entirely to you.

Once you’ve moved past foreplay, you can still tell your partner what you want to do next or what you’re waiting for.  How are you imagining reaching orgasm? Where would you like to be? What would you like to be doing? Where do you want your partner? Use the language that makes you most comfortable.

Step Four: Describe Your Pleasure

“I love it when you [X].”

“You make me feel amazing.”

“I can’t wait for you to cum for me.”

As the pleasure ramps up in the bedroom, words often fall away. You’ll find, however, that adding a little dirty talk to your bedroom play can increase your excitement level as well as increasing your communication with your partner, which can ultimately increase your pleasure. Tell your partner how you’re feeling. Describe not just what you want them to do next, but also exactly what they’re getting right and how much you love it. Feel free to describe the sensation of him inside you or her wrapped around you. Let your partner get an up close and personal explanation of exactly how you’re feeling, and watch how it increases the pleasure for both of you.

Giving feedback to your partner during sex is another aspect of dirty talk that can ultimately pay off for both of you. Sometimes, your silence is a sign that you’re genuinely enjoying something, your stillness an indication that your partner has hit just the right spot and you don’t want it to end. Your partner, however, may worry that they’re getting it wrong — and as a result, it may end the foreplay for the time being. Instead, talk about it. Tell your partner what they’re getting right. They’ll love the feedback, and you’ll love that they stay with that perfect strategy for just a little longer.

Step Five: Tell Your Partner What You Like About Him/Her

One of the sexiest things you can do in the bedroom is describing what you like best about your partner. Try, for example, some of these strategies.

“I love the way you make me feel so [X].” Do you feel tiny wrapped up in his arms? Does her small stature make you feel like you’re handling something priceless? Describe the way your partner makes you feel and how much you love it.

“I love your [insert favorite body part here].” You’re in the bedroom, so your focus may be on the traditional erotic areas: breasts, butt, genitals. Sometimes, however, those aren’t the things that are the biggest turn-on. Do you, for example, love the way his big, strong hands feel as they run all over your body? Love the feeling of her smaller hands sliding around you for the first time? What about her lips, or his sexy little smile just before he enters you for the first time? Tell your partner what it is that’s turning you on: that special something that sends a little extra thrill running through your blood and adds just a little extra heat to the bedroom.

“I love how you [your favorite thing here].” Sometimes, it’s the little things in the bedroom that you enjoy the most — some of them things that your partner may not even realize they’re doing.

Step Six: Learn to Talk Dirty Outside the Bedroom

Once you get past that initial shyness, it may be easier to talk dirty in the bedroom than it is to let that kind of talk see the light of day. Dirty talk, however, can be an incredible kind of foreplay- — one that you can engage in no matter where your partner is or how far away you might be from one another. In fact, dirty talk is a great way to let your partner know that you might be interested in a little something extra in the evening, or that there’s something in particular that you’re looking forward to.

Whisper in your partner’s ear. This is a great strategy when you’re together, but in public. Slip up beside your partner, lean in close, and keep your voice low. Tell him how great he looks in that tux or how well his running pants highlight his assets. Tell her she’s looking particularly gorgeous, or that the way she’s biting her lower lip is turning you on a little more every moment. Then, move on with your normal activities as though nothing has changed — and watch the tension start to increase.

Send in an explicit, dirty text early in the day. Let your partner know exactly what you’re imagining for later in the afternoon. Then, when your partner gets home, put your words into action and make that fantasy come to life! Sending that dirty talk via text message is also a great way to start building your confidence and getting more comfortable with dirty talk in general.

Cuddle up at the end of the night, rest your hand on your partner’s inner thigh, and murmur what you’d like to do to them. If you’re alone, this is a great way to move things straight to the bedroom. If you’re not, it can help increase anticipation or speed things along so that you can end the evening sooner — or at least get your own private party started.

Are you ready to introduce a little more fun into the bedroom? Have you discovered that your partner can’t wait to add a vibrator to your bedroom play? Contact us today to learn more about how the MysteryVibe products can help expand your sexual repertoire, increase your pleasure, and bring you and your partner closer than ever.

Responsible people make sure they have a wellness checkup at least annually. It makes them feel safer, catches certain conditions before they become troublesome, and educates them on their bodies. The same is true of a male sexual health inventory by way of an annual visit to your physician if you have a regular partner. But many men continue to hesitate when discussing their sexual issues with their physicians. We're here to tell you that:

1. Doctors know the science of handling sexual problems.
2. Your physician has heard it all. Nothing about your sexual health (or lack thereof) will surprise them.
3. Common sexual problems are potentially treatable.
4. Erectile dysfunction (ED) may be reversible.

Hey, you! Wake up, guys! Get a checkup now!

Sexual Health Inventory (SHIM)

Yes, the acronym for this kind of check-up is SHIM. The Industrial and Community Health Research Centre, Keele University School of Postgraduate Medicine, Hartshill, and Stoke-on-Trent, England, joined together to provide an estimate of the prevalence of sexual dysfunction in the general population of the UK. Physicians sent an anonymous questionnaire for a random sample of the general adult population. The survey included these questions:

• How confident are you of getting and keeping an erection?
• How often were your erections hard enough to penetrate your partner?
• After penetration, how long were you able to maintain your erection?
• How difficult was it to maintain your erection to the completion of the intercourse?
• How often was your attempted intercourse satisfying for you?

Researchers found the following:

• Erectile dysfunction took place in 3.7 percent of men in the 20-35 age group.
• ED was present in 55 percent of men in the 35-55 age group.
• ED was present in 41 percent of the men over the age of 55.

Causes of Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction, the inability to get and keep an erection during sex, is not necessarily a sign of trouble if occurs from time to time. If it becomes ongoing, however, causes may include these physical or psychological problems:

Physical

• Injuries that affect the spinal cord or the pelvic area
• Heart disease
• Enlarged prostate or prostate cancer treatments
• Atherosclerosis (clogged blood vessels)
• Sleep disorders
• High cholesterol
• Substance abuse or alcoholism
• High blood pressure
• Diabetes
• Peyronie's disease (scar tissue inside the penis)
• Obesity
• Tobacco use
• Metabolic syndrome (increased blood pressure, high insulin levels, body fat around the waist, high cholesterol)
• Some prescription medications
• Parkinson's disease
• Multiple sclerosis

Psychological

• Depression, anxiety, or other mental health conditions
• Stress
• Relationship problems, poor communication, concerns

Let's Talk about Psychological Issues and Sex

A sexual disorder does not mean that a person has something wrong with them. In today's world, sexual concerns such as erectile dysfunction can improve by a variety of treatments. Some interventions take the form of psychotherapy. Additionally, a sexual disorder only occurs if the person feels a great deal of anxiety or distress in his or her life. Sometimes, for example, a specific fetish is enjoyed and accepted if it is not causing trouble in a person's life. Unfortunately, men with ED sometimes experience a variety of psychosocial stresses that can include:

• Loss of self-esteem
• A diminished sense of masculinity and health status
• Anger
• A lowered quality of life
• An unsatisfactory sex life
• Anxiety
• Stress
• Embarrassment
• Relationship issues
• Inability to provide sperm for impregnation

Men with depression may have a higher incidence of ED than others of the same age. Physicians have discovered that treating the depression along with the ED actually improves depression scale scores more than only treating the depression. Clinical studies show that being in a loving, supportive relationship can make a person healthier. When significant personal involvements break, this can be one of the most stressful life events and will impact a person's general health. And, the amount of sexual intimacy in a caring relationship correlates with satisfaction within a relationship.

What's a Guy Supposed to Do?

Thankfully, there are plenty of ways to get back on track:

• Work with your doctor to manage your chronic health conditions, including, of course, heart disease and diabetes
• If you are experiencing periods of depression, anxiety, or other mental health concerns, get some help
• Continue your regular checkups and keep up with your medical screening and tests
• Do whatever is necessary to reduce stress
• Stop smoking
• Be moderate in the amount of alcohol you consume
• Eliminate mood-altering, illegal drugs
• Get into a regular exercise habit
• Certain medications can treat ED
• Injections into the penis sometimes work
• Talk with your partner about issues that may interfere with your sexual energy
• Think of new ways to keep your sexual relationship exciting and erotic

Some Excellent Advice

Have you ever thought of spicing up your sex life? In many cases, a change of any kind can be the key to renewed closeness. We certainly have some recommendations at MysteryVibe. If your libido needs a bit of a restart, consider reviewing the most innovative pleasure-producing products pages you may have ever seen.

Crescendo

Our product is changing the way people feel about sexual health. The Crescendo can shape to fit your body. Erogenous zones you did not even know existed will appear. This perfect companion for foreplay and intercourse has six powerful motors and is flexible and easy to clean. The MysteryVibe app allows you to control your orgasm or lets your partner join in on the fun. You can pre-set your vibration patterns or create your own. The Crescendo is also unisex and bendable. This tool is the vibrator you and your partner have been searching for these many years. Michael Castleman, a sex counselor at AARP, says that men and women alike can enjoy using a vibrator. He adds that vibrators can:

• Help women respond to other types of erotic stimulation
• Some women require stimulation beyond what fingers and mouth can provide
• Forty-five percent of American men have used a vibrator in partner sex at least once

Tenuto

This vibrator is for men and is wearable. It stimulates multiple areas, increases blood flow, heightens sensations, connects vibrations to partners, and improves the overall sexual experience. MysteryVibe's PLAYbook has all the positions and techniques you need to get the most out of your Tenuto. The possibilities are endless, and to add to the fun, the Tenuto is waterproof. You can control your erection and supercharge both performance and pleasure. The app has preset patterns, but you can create vibrations and intensity patterns yourself, as well. The design stretches and adapts to each user's penis and perineum. By doing so, the Tenuto increases blood flow, extends erections, and prolongs the pleasure. According to Men's Health Magazine, says a study in 2012 found that heterosexual men admitted to using and enjoying a vibrator at one point or another during their adulthood. The magazine continues by stating that MysteryVibe's Tenuto, or as they call it a "guybrator," will probably make men better lovers, too.

The App

The MysteryVibe App is, say many, the best sex toy for couples. Others add that the ability to take control of the vibration speed, intensity, and pattern to suit people's needs is a technological breakthrough.

MysteryVibes PlayBook

Tips for using your Crescendo and Tenuto are in the PlayBook (and we do mean "play"). The clear instructions and the creativity of the positions are bound to get any guy's sexual health level a bit higher with every play date. Harvard Medical School reports that sex is not only a pleasurable activity, but it can also allow a man to participate in and enjoy sexual activity fully. The article states:

A range of physical, psychological, interpersonal, and social factors influence a man's sexual health.

Health.harvard.edu says experimenting with different positions can add interest to lovemaking. For example, increased stimulation of the G-spot when her partner enters from behind can help a woman reach climax. The names of positions enhanced by the Crescendo and Tenuto alone are mental stimulation.

• Pulsating Spank
• Giddy-Up Buzzin' Stud
• Zen Climax
• Fellatioship of the Rings

Are you in the mood yet?

MysteryVibe

The bottom line here at MysteryVibe is that sex can be improved. America's attitude toward sex has swung from acceptance to disdain and back again. It is our mission to strengthen male and female sexual health. We want individuals to be more comfortable with sex-related conversations and become more open to the idea that sexual "play" is a popular activity. MysteryVibes wants the word itself (sex) to refer to lovemaking instead of something taboo. If MysteryVibe has anything to do with this sort of change, we will wear that badge proudly. Our efforts center on:

• Making individuals talk, explore, discover, and satisfy their curiosity
• Elevating people's pleasure
• Mutually proposing possibilities
• Talking about what feels good
• Communicating your desires and fantasies
• Introducing a variety of choices
• Boosting relationships and increasing sexual satisfaction
• Enhancing playfulness, adventure, and increased sensation
• Inviting exploration

MysteryVibe has the guides, playbook, toys, and technology that will pull you into an exciting, new, and more sensual world. Contact us today for more information.