Can Counseling Hurt You During a Divorce?

Can Counseling Hurt You During a Divorce? The answer is a resounding yes, if the divorce goes through the traditional process of court litigation. The answer is a resounding no, if the alternative – collaborative divorce – is chosen. We see a lot of people who are in tremendous emotional distress. They are wondering if […]

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The Standardisation of English



I have been reading about life in Medieval England lately. In the course of so doing I understand much better the part the development of the printing press played in standardising the English language. How, for instance, “ye” became the the spelling for “the” and how the use of an abbreviation like “&” for “et” in the middle of a word was dropped.

Of course I went to school when rules on the use of the English language were tediously drummed into you and there was no scope for deviation. Any errors resulted in red lines in exercise books and the need to write out corrections ten times.

Recent generations of school pupils have been spared the pedantic insistence on subservience to the rules of spelling and grammar. However, in family proceedings the drafting of court documents, solicitors’ letters, laws and regulations all require the precise application of those rules. Occasionally, there can be a mismatch between what a lawyer thinks he has dictated and what he receives to check and sign.

In recent years, therefore, I have been treated to such gems as:
Baristas going into court (presumably to make coffee for the Judge);
Ships birthing (maybe that’s how baby boats are delivered);
Illicit information (when eliciting information was required);
Pecking knees (referring to a dog that sounded like a chicken with bandy legs perhaps).

My personal favourite of all time, however, was:
Higher perches (to finance the car not to provide a seat with a view for the budgerigar).


The Standardisation of English



I have been reading about life in Medieval England lately. In the course of so doing I understand much better the part the development of the printing press played in standardising the English language. How, for instance, “ye” became the the spelling for “the” and how the use of an abbreviation like “&” for “et” in the middle of a word was dropped.

Of course I went to school when rules on the use of the English language were tediously drummed into you and there was no scope for deviation. Any errors resulted in red lines in exercise books and the need to write out corrections ten times.

Recent generations of school pupils have been spared the pedantic insistence on subservience to the rules of spelling and grammar. However, in family proceedings the drafting of court documents, solicitors’ letters, laws and regulations all require the precise application of those rules. Occasionally, there can be a mismatch between what a lawyer thinks he has dictated and what he receives to check and sign.

In recent years, therefore, I have been treated to such gems as:
Baristas going into court (presumably to make coffee for the Judge);
Ships birthing (maybe that’s how baby boats are delivered);
Illicit information (when eliciting information was required);
Pecking knees (referring to a dog that sounded like a chicken with bandy legs perhaps).

My personal favourite of all time, however, was:
Higher perches (to finance the car not to provide a seat with a view for the budgerigar).


Man Busts a Move After Making Last Alimony Payment!

What’s a guy to do after he’s made his very last alimony payment at the bank? If you’re Memphis divorcé Ed Smith, you get down with your bad self and start break-dancing right there on the bank floor. Brittany Wong reports for The Huffington Post.

In a video that’s drawn more than 416,000 views since it was posted late last month, 52-year-old Ed Smith bursts out in song while waiting to pay off the very last of his $10,000 alimony obligation at a local Bank of America branch.

“Thank you, Jesus! I’m free at last, free at last!” Smith exclaims before his dancing begins. While his moonwalk technique may be questionable, his energy is totally infectious.

“Woo! I’m done,” the giddy insurance agent shouts mid-dance. “I’m break-dancing, baby! $10,000. Michael Jackson! Woo!”

Smith, who posted the video to YouTube himself, told the New York Daily News he agreed to pay his ex-wife $825 a month for a year since she wasn’t working when they split. They’d been together 12 years and had no children.

Smith said that working 60-hours a week to make those monthly installments was a “real struggle,” but that ultimately, it taught him a lot about personal savings. He even called his ex-wife to thank her for teaching him the lessons.

“I said I know now that I can save $10,000 a year and maybe more,” he said. “In this country we don’t save our money. I should have been a millionaire by now and it’s my fault.”

Smith has a little ways to go until he’s completely off the hook, though. According to the Daily News, he’s still obligated to pay his ex-wife’s utilities, phone and cable for another month and her car and insurance for another year.

Here’s hoping his last obligated visit to the bank includes an equally hilarious song and dance.

If you have questions regarding Florida alimony, contact Orlando divorce Attorney Jeffrey Feulner of the Men’s Divorce Law Firm. Our caring staff will provide a complimentary pre-screening regarding your alimony case.

Gone Girl



Both Little Girl and Apprentice Man have recommended that I read "Gone Girl" by Gillian Flynn. I confess that I have chickened out and have been to see the film, starring Ben Affleck and Rosamund Pike, instead.

Of course the title "Gone Girl" could allude to any separated wife but in this case the plot is more sinister. I shall not divulge it here so as to spoil it for anyone who has yet to read the book or see the film. 

Suffice to say that my sympathies instinctively rested with the lawyer who goes under the wonderful name of Tanner Bolt. He also had one of the best lines in the script when he comments:" You two are the most f****d-up people I've ever met, and I deal with f****d-up people for a living"

Thankfully I never came out with that one during my years in practice.


The difference between Veterans Day and Memorial Day

Veterans Day is an annual event, but inevitably, someone says something demonstrating confusion over the difference between Veterans Day and Memorial Day. Lisa Respers France of CNN sets the record straight.

Veterans Day:

This federal holiday falls on November 11 and is designated as a day to honor all who have served in the military. According to Military.com, Veterans Day began as Armistice Day to honor the end of World War I, which officially took place on November 11, 1918.

“In 1954, after having been through both World War II and the Korean War, the 83rd U.S. Congress — at the urging of the veterans service organizations — amended the Act of 1938 by striking out the word “Armistice” and inserting the word “Veterans,” the site says. “With the approval of this legislation on June 1, 1954, November 11 became a day to honor American veterans of all wars.”

Memorial Day:

Celebrated the last Monday in May, Memorial Day is the holiday set aside to pay tribute to those who died serving in the military.

The website for the United States Department of Veterans Affairs recounts the start of Memorial Day this way:

“Three years after the Civil War ended, on May 5, 1868, the head of an organization of Union veterans — the Grand Army of the Republic (GAR) — established Decoration Day as a time for the nation to decorate the graves of the war dead with flowers. Maj. Gen. John A. Logan declared that Decoration Day should be observed on May 30. It is believed that date was chosen because flowers would be in bloom all over the country.”

The passage of the National Holiday Act of 1971 by Congress made it an official holiday.

Just for good measure, we will also throw in some information about Labor Day because, believe it or not, we’ve seen folks thanking troops on that holiday. Labor Day, the first Monday in September, honors the contributions of American workers, not the military.

Orlando divorce lawyers and the legal team at the Men’s Divorce Law Firm thank our veterans and active military for their service to our country. If you are a husband or father with military family law issues, please contact us today. Our caring team is waiting for your call.

Living Arrangements for Separated Couples Can Have Legal Ramifications: Tread Cautiously

In North Carolina, you can’t get divorced until you’ve been physically separated for at least a year. During the separation period there’s a need for two homes while you’re still married. If you rent an apartment as the second home, then it can be relatively simple. But if you want to buy a second home […]

The post Living Arrangements for Separated Couples Can Have Legal Ramifications: Tread Cautiously appeared first on Raleigh Divorce Firm - Springfield Collaborative Divorce, offices in Durham & Raleigh.

Heard it on the Radio



One of the best things about retirement is that I get to listen to the radio at times when previously I would have been at my office desk.

I am always amazed at the information you can pick up about divorce.

Indeed in recent weeks I have learnt that censuses in the USA show divorce as most common amongst those following arty type occupations such as dancers, actors, poets and artists.  At the other end of the spectrum those least likely to divorce are engineers and scientists. I could speculate on the reason for this but, as Outdoor Man is an engineer, think I’ll play safe and stay silent!

I also heard repeated that old chestnut that the average person has a longer relationship with their bank manager than their partner. In this day and age, I do find that a strange one; who actually meets their bank manager in person these days? Or perhaps that’s the secret to a successful relationship: keep it on-line.


Finally I was told that the average divorce costs £44,000. That’s not the lawyers’ fees by the way; they are factored in at just less than £1300 each. Instead the sum represents the amount spent by both spouses in setting up their separate lives and which, as well as the legal fees, includes the expenses for setting up a new home, purchasing clothes and jewellery, taking up new hobbies, joining a gym, acquiring dating club membership, cosmetic surgery and life coaching or therapy. Far be it for me to point out where savings could be made, but I am sure strong views will be expressed by the ex about any nose job.