Divorce Therapy – Is this Day 6 or 7?

I spent all day yesterday in bed and am unsure now of the date.

Boris has decided he's not moving in after all and it transpires that Michael reckons he's in with a chance instead. There are rumours that he stabbed Boris in the back but I rang the local hospital and Boris hadn't been admitted.

Meanwhile Jeremy up the road has been having problems too. Angela walked out and has been tight lipped ever since, although she did say the last straw was when he refused to speak to her for 24 hours. I actually thought Jeremy was moving out when I saw a furniture van pull up but it turned out he was just taking delivery of a new cabinet.

Everybody is calling everyone names.

Dave has even had the audacity to tell Jeremy he should leave, "Go man, go," I think he said. Mind on what basis Dave feels he's qualified to hand out such advice I honestly don't know.

Is any of this real? It feels like a dream that I might yet wake up from.

Divorce Therapy – Day 4

Gideon, our financial adviser, spoke to me this morning. He did his best to reassure me but I was not convinced. As a result of this mess I know the money has gone down, although Gideon says that he’ll arrange a loan to bide us over.

I also received a letter from Boris. He seems to be suggesting that he’ll move in instead but otherwise life will continue pretty much as before, save that we can have an “open” relationship.

I’m becoming very confused.

Divorce Therapy – Day 3

Jean Claude says "It wasn't a tight love affair anyway," and he "wants a quick divorce."

I am angry again, VERY ANGRY.

The Dutch pair over the road have refused to invite me in; they just say I need to get the divorce sorted quickly. They seem worried I might taint things for them.

The French couple up the street are just the same. Things aren't too rosy for them too, I fear.

Now Jeremy and his clan are all going their separate ways. Everyone seems to be splitting up.

I'm getting confused. I mean I always knew we were being lied to; I'm not a complete fool but I'm not sure who it is I am angry with anymore.

Divorce Therapy – Day 2

Tell me how you felt yesterday.

Yesterday, when I found out, I felt numb. All sensory feeling was suspended and a girdle of anxiety squeezed my chest. 

What did you do yesterday?

I didn't move from the sofa.

And Dave, tell me about Dave.

Dave went to see the woman at the end of the Mall.

How did that make you feel?

I cried. Sadness overwhelmed me, not for Dave but for me and for the family. Then I got angry, really angry. Next I even felt guilty; perhaps I could have done something to have prevented this.

How are things today?

I feel calmer. Inward looking and isolated. I know life hasn't ended but it just feels different. There's a chasm and it feels as though it is going to be there for a long time.

Divorce Therapy

When I started this blog it was intended as a form of therapy, a cathartic diversion to the stresses and strains of life as a divorce lawyer. It has been many months since I have made an entry for the simple reason that I do not need a panacea in retirement.

Today however was different. I should have known it was going to happen with the repeated arguments and outrageous behaviour of recent weeks but it still shocked me. 

This morning when I awoke, I learned that we are going to separate after 40 years. Worse still a messy divorce is envisaged and one that may start immediately. Already the cash in the bank has plummeted, our pension funds and investments reduced. I wanted to stay in our home but I no longer know if that will be possible. A move to Scotland is a possibility, or Ireland. Does anyone know what Ireland is like?

Dave is going, of course. Hanging around for a little while but he’s not going to do very much. Well I know there was no love lost between us, but seriously it’s still hard to take when it happens.

What do I tell the children? They may be old enough to make their own minds up, but they are hurting too; Nicola says she’s staying put whatever and Martin is thinking of pursuing his own union elsewhere. Some fool down the road had the gall to tell me it was Independence Day whilst others have just looked shell-shocked when they heard the news. People I haven’t heard from for a while have been handing out tissues and sympathy; Tony said he thought there had been “mixed messages” for the last couple of months and Michael summed up my feelings accurately when he described it as “a gaping hole.” 

Sadiq is trying to smooth the waters but the damage has been done and it hurts. I’m angry and I think I have every right to be.